Peacemaking: Article #7 2021
Aug 11, 2021
August 13, 2021
Seven A’s of a Biblical Confession.
God helps us to see our sins and leads us to resolution using the 4 “G’s”. As God opens your eyes to see how you have sinned against others, he simultaneously offers you a way to find freedom from your past wrongs. It is called confession. Many people have never experienced this freedom because they have never learned how to confess their wrongs honestly and unconditionally.
Instead, they use words like these: “I’m sorry if I hurt you.” “Let’s just forget the past.” “I suppose I could have done a better job.” “I guess it’s not all your fault.” These token statements rarely trigger genuine forgiveness and reconciliation. If you really want to make peace, ask God to help you breathe grace by humbly and thoroughly admitting your wrongs. The way to do this is to use the Seven A’s of a Biblical Confession.
1 John 1:8-9 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
- A ddress everyone involved (All those whom you affected)
- A void if, but, and maybe (Do not try to excuse your wrongs)
- A dmit specifically (Both attitudes and actions)
- A cknowledge the hurt (Express sorrow for hurting someone)
- A ccept the consequences (Such as making restitution)
- A lter your behavior (Change your attitudes and actions)
- A sk for forgiveness
- Address everyone involved. Real confession begins by admitting your sin to everyone directly impacted by it. Since every wrongdoing offends God, start your confession with him. Whether or not you admit a sin to other people depends on whether it was a ‘heart sin’ or a ‘social sin.” A heart sin takes place only in your thoughts and doesn’t directly affect others, so it only needs to be confessed to God. A social sin involves other people. Confess those wrongs to anyone affected—a single individual or a group, and people you hurt or who just witnessed your wrongdoing. The general rule? Your confession should reach as far as your offense. Suppose you were really angry with your spouse, and your kids were in the car and heard your angry outburst. You need to confess to your spouse, but you also need to talk to the kids.
- Avoid “if,” “but,” and “maybe.” It’s really difficult to find a confession that doesn’t use ‘if,” “but,” or “maybe.” It’s so hard to give an unqualified apology. The quickest way to wreck a confession is by using words that shift the blame to others or minimize or excuse your guilt. The classic bad confession is, “I’m sorry if I’ve done something to make you mad.” The word “if” ruins the confession, because it implies that you don’t know whether you did something wrong. It sounds like you just want someone off your back. Notice how the following so-called confessions are diluted by the words in italics. “Perhaps I was wrong.” “ Maybe I could have tried harder.” “ I guess I was wrong when I said those critical things about you. I shouldn’t have lost my temper, but I was tired.” Each of these statements would have value if the italicized words were left out. These words neutralize the rest of the confession. They don’t convey sincere repentance and won’t soften the heart of someone who has been offended. The word “but” is especially harmful, because it has the strange ability to cancel all the words that precede it: “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, but you really upset me.” “I should have kept my mouth closed, but she asked for it.” “I know I was wrong, but so were you!” In those statements, most people sense that the speaker believes the words following the “but” more than those that precede it. Thus, a confession containing “but” rarely leads to reconciliation.
- Admit specifically . The more detail you provide when you confess, the more likely you are to get a positive reaction. Specific admissions help convince others that you are honestly facing up to what you have done, a signal that makes it far easier to forgive you. Not only that, but being specific helps you identify the actions, words, or attitudes you need to change. For example, instead of saying, “I blew it as a friend,” you could say, “I know I hurt you when I talked behind your back.” Or instead of saying, “I know I’m not much of an employee,” you might say, “I know I’ve had a very negative attitude the last few months. I’ve been critical of others and disrupted the operation of this office. It was especially wrong of me to criticize your work in front of others yesterday.” As you strive to be specific in your confessions, make it a point to deal with your attitudes as well as actions.
- Acknowledge the hurt . If you want someone to respond positively to your confession, make it a point to acknowledge to him/her the hurt you caused. Aim to show that you understand how the other person felt as a result of our words or actions. “You must have felt really embarrassed when I said those things in front of everyone. I’m so sorry I did that to you.” If you aren’t sure how the other person felt, then ask. It can be dangerous to assume you know how or how much you hurt someone. You can say, “Have I understood how I’ve hurt you?”
- Accept the consequences . Accepting any penalty your actions deserve is another way to demonstrate genuine repentance. You might have to correct a piece of gossip you passed on. Or you might have to work extra to pay for damages you caused to someone’s property. The harder you work to make restitution and repair any harm you have caused, the easier it is for others to trust your confession.
- Alter your behavior . You don’t really mean that you are sorry if you don’t commit to not repeating the sin. Sincere repentance includes explaining to the person you offended how you plan to change in the future by God’s grace—what you will say, how you will act, or the attitude you will convey. Be specific. Find someone to hold you accountable. Explain that you are relying on God’s help. Sometimes it helps to put your plan in writing. It shows you take the matter seriously and are willing to spend time planning how to change. Listing specific goals and objectives helps you remember your commitment. It provides a standard by which your progress can be measured. And your ongoing effort will continue to demonstrate your confession was genuine.
- Ask for forgiveness If you talk through each of those steps with someone you have offended, many will be willing to forgive you and move on. If the person you have confessed to doesn’t express forgiveness, however, you can ask, “Will you please forgive me?” Your question signals that you are now awaiting their move. Don’t be surprised if some people need time to forgive you. Reconciliation doesn’t always happen right away, and pressure from you won’t help. If someone isn’t ready to forgive you, make sure you have confessed thoroughly. If you sense that the person to whom you confessed is simply not ready to forgive you, it may be helpful to say something like this: “I know I hurt you, and I can understand why it might be hard to forgive me. I want us to be okay with each other, so I hope you can forgive me. In the meantime, I will pray for you and do my best to repair the damage I caused. With the Holy Spirit’s help, I will work to overcome my problem. If there’s anything else I can do, please let me know.”
An eighth “A” could be added to this list: Allow time. When you’ve deeply disappointed, hurt or wronged someone else, they may need some time to process their emotions and come to a point of forgiveness.
Happy New Year, TCC! As we prepare for all that God has for TCC this year, we are excited for where and how God is leading us! We, the pastoral team, have been praying and seeking the Lord’s direction for this new year. It seemed good to us and to the Holy Spirit to hold fast to the directions he gave us in the fall which were (1) to continue to implement truly inter-generational worship as a united body, (2) to set out a theme of preparedness for the coming of the Lord (Matthew 24:44-47), (3) and to put attention and effort behind the TCC mission statement, “to be and make disciples.” (Matthew 28:18-20) After a strong summer coming out of Camp TCC, we were excited about the momentum and the theme of readiness. We were eager to implement the Biblical Discipleship Hour (BDH), age-appropriate, biblical education and discipleship. Kids’ hour accommodated 0-5 th grade, Youth BDH, 6 th – 12 th grade, and Adult BDH, college students to pensioners. During the 9:30 service hour, the hope was that families would be able to come to BDH and Kids’ hour to be discipled in the word of God then transition together to the 11:00 service to worship as a family. The momentum was strong at the beginning of the fall, but as time went on, we had fewer and fewer attend the Biblical Discipleship hour. As we evaluated how the fall services had gone, we recognized this loss of momentum. We felt that part of the problem was the competition between the 9:30 service and BDH. Asking families to come an hour and a half early for worship to participate in the education hour was a stretch even for the most stalwart especially with school, sports, and other weekly activities also making demands. In answer, beginning in February, we are going to implement a one-service model at 10:00 with a fellowship / coffee time from 11:00-11:30, followed by Biblical Discipleship Hour from 11:30-12:15. We hope this will facilitate a few different things. (1) A return to the summer worship schedule will reunite all of us into a single worshipping body; a better reflection of our unity in Christ (Ephesians 4:3). (2) Competition between a 9:30 service and BDH will be eliminated; it is more palatable deciding simply to stay after the service than expend the effort required to come early. (3) The worship team will have an extra half hour of prep and could also participate in BDH if they choose. (4) Pastor Tom, having to preach only once, will be free to participate, teach, and be more actively involved in the discipleship element on Sunday morning as well. The one downside is for the staff and volunteers regularly serving our kids in LTA (coinciding with worship). If things continue as they are, they would be unable to participate in the worship service. To facilitate their participation, we will need a rotation of volunteers who are willing to serve our kids one or perhaps two Sundays per month. Would you be willing to regularly serve on a rotation? We pray that this structure will better serve the vision the Lord has given us. If you have any questions or concerns, please email, call, text, or visit me on site during office hours. May God our Father bless us richly through the unity of the Holy Spirit as members of his only Son, Jesus Christ! Jeridan Dyck Pastor of Family Ministries and Outreach jeridan@tccwayland.org (406)849-0675
Guiding Principles for the Ministry Year 2023-24 Trinitarian Congregational Church Ministry Theme: “Are You Ready?” This probing question is based on the Gospel of Matthew, which we will cover in our Sunday morning services both in the Fall and Spring terms. Jesus challenges us to move from a ‘spectator’ role (self-satisfied and ‘comfortable’) to an active ‘participant’ role in the discipleship experience. ‘Un-discipled’ disciples (Pastor Pete James’ phrase) fail to persevere, disengage with the Word and therefore mute the witness of Christ to our neighbors. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus challenges our priorities and calls us to new levels of readiness. Readiness both in the now (“come unto me”) and readiness for the future. Matthew 24:44 captures the theme well: “Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.” Our goal for this ministry theme (reached upon as a team at our summer staff retreat at Toah Nipi Camp) is that TCC Life Groups would commit to the study of Matthew at some point during this ministry year to apply the urgency to be ready: the urgency to witness to our neighbors both in sharing the good news of forgiveness of sins and through acts of compassion. The prayerful outcome, by God’s power, is to see the multiplication of new believers during this ministry year at TCC. “This Gospel of the Kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world, as a testimony to all nations, then the end will come” (Matthew 24:14). Growth through Biblical Discipleship Hour at 9:30am on Sundays To foster family-rooted discipleship, we are implementing new Biblical Discipleship Hour programs at 9:30am on Sundays for middle school and high school students, as well as for adults. Following is a description of the new program: Last words are important! Jesus’s last words to his eleven disciples in Matthew are this, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:19-20). In keeping with the Great Commission, our Mission Statement, “To Be and Make Disciples” is critical. Accordingly, we are implementing an important teaching/training hour on Sunday mornings, 9:30am to 10:30am, for disciples of all ages and stages. We will hold two separate sessions during the hour upstairs in the main church building. Jeridan and Erin Dyck will supervise one session geared for our younger disciples. Donna Petter will supervise one session geared for older disciples. On certain occasions we will offer combined classes! Teachers and mentors from our own community will contribute weekly to the program. As we journey with Jesus, we must “learn” what walking with him entails. Our focus will be fourfold: defining discipleship, the demands of a disciple, the decisions of a disciple, and developing disciples. These overlapping categories will allow us to address important topics from a biblical worldview. These broad categories also permit us to have combined teaching sessions (at times) with younger disciples in our midst. Growth through Outreach Our identity as a sending church means we are committed to evangelism (proclaiming that Jesus is Lord and Savior) to our neighbors across the street. In addition to existing opportunities (Bridge House in Framingham), 2023-24 is the year to create new outreach programs under the pastoral guidance of our new Pastor of Family Ministries and Outreach, Jeridan Dyck. The Send mobilization conference (September 16 at BU’s Agganis Arena) officially launches our efforts to participate in evangelistic outreach in MetroWest. Collaboration among local churches is a critical dimension of The Send's vision and TCC is actively participating in this movement. Growth through Worship The 2023-24 ministry year marks the launch of our new permanent worship team with the recent hiring of Mia Hustad as Worship Leader. Alex Kouris serves as worship coordinator, Karen Johnson as seasonal choir director, and Charlie Orr as our organist. Mia is forming a core team of volunteers with the goal of a weekly practice in addition to Sunday morning practice. Mia and Alex’s vision calls for an anointed family worship hour representing the highest quality of Christian worship from the standpoint of performance and the adoration and praise of the Living God. Our goal for the year is to see new families join the church as our experience of God through worship grows both in Word and Spirit. Growth through Men’s Discipleship Programming This fall we are re-launching our men’s ministry program with a new name: Don’t Walk Alone. We will gather September 17 for a hike, bonfire, some grilling and some much-needed fellowship among the men at TCC. The goal is to foster an atmosphere of openness and transparency in sharing the struggles common to men so that we feel supported in our disconnected and isolated culture. Boundary and Accountability Principles The Board, committees, Senior Pastor, Pastoral and support staff, and the congregation as a whole come under the accountability structures established in the TCC By-Laws of 2010. We are all accountable to the Lordship of Christ and His Word. In Christ, the Judgment of the Last Day has already come to us as “righteous” (2 Corinthians 5:21). Also, we will all have to give an account on that Day as to what we did in the body in our justified state (2 Corinthians 5:10), whether we were zealous for good works or not (Titus 2:11-14). Theme Song for 2023-24 – “New Wine” by Hillsong Worship In the crushing In the pressing You are making new wine In the soil I now surrender You are breaking new ground So I yield to You into Your careful hand When I trust You I don't need to understand Make me Your vessel Make me an offering Make me whatever You want me to be I came here with nothing But all You have given me Jesus bring new wine out of me In the crushing In the pressing You are making new wine In the soil I now surrender You are breaking new ground You are breaking new ground So, make me Your vessel Make me an offering Make me whatever You want me to be I came here with nothing But all You have given me Jesus, bring new wine out of me Jesus, bring new wine out of me Jesus, bring new wine out of me 'Cause where there is new wine There is new power There is new freedom And the Kingdom is here I lay down my old flames To carry Your new fire today 'Cause where there is new wine There is new power There is new freedom And the Kingdom is here I lay down my old flames To carry Your new fire today So, make me Your vessel Make me an offering Make me whatever You want me to be God, I came here with nothing But all You have given me Jesus, bring new wine out of me Jesus, bring new wine out of me Jesus, bring new wine out of me Make me Your vessel Make me an offering Make me whatever You want me to be I came here with nothing But all You have given me Jesus, bring new wine out of me Sing that again, like me Make me Your vessel Make me an offering Make me whatever You want me to be God, I came here with nothing But all You have given me Jesus, bring new wine out of me Jesus, bring new wine out of me Oh, Jesus, bring new wine out of me, oh Jesus Jesus, bring new wine out of me (it means we're getting back on the altar) We're saying we surrender everything, Lord Bring new wine out of me, Jesus Jesus, bring new wine (keep going) out of me (Jesus) Jesus, bring new wine out of me Jesus, bring new wine out of me 'Cause where there is new wine There is new power There is new freedom And the Kingdom is here I lay down my old flames To carry Your new fire today Where there is new wine 'Cause where there is new wine There is new power There is new freedom And the Kingdom is here I lay down my old flames To carry Your new fire today So, I say make me Your vessel Make me an offering Make me whatever You want me to be I came here with nothing But all You have given me Jesus, bring new wine out of me, Jesus Jesus, bring new wine out of me Jesus, bring new wine out of me Source: Musixmatch Songwriters: Brooke Gabrielle Fraser New Wine lyrics © Hillsong Publishing, Hillsong Music Publishing Australia
Introducing: Biblical Discipleship Hour Last words are important! Jesus’s last words to his eleven disciples in Matthew are this: “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:19-20). In keeping with the Great Commission our Mission Statement, “To Be and Make Disciples” is critical. Accordingly, we are implementing an important teaching/training hour on Sunday mornings, 9:30am to 10:30am, for disciples of all ages and stages. We will hold two separate sessions during the hour upstairs in the main church building. Jeridan and Erin Dyck will supervise one session geared for our younger disciples. Donna Petter will supervise one session geared for older disciples. On certain occasions we will offer combined classes! Teachers and mentors from our own community will contribute weekly to the program. As we journey with Jesus we must “learn” what walking with him entails. Our focus will be fourfold: defining discipleship, the demands of a disciple, the decisions of a disciple, and developing disciples. These overlapping categories will allow us to address important topics from a biblical worldview. These broad categories also permit us to have combined teaching sessions (at times) with younger disciples in our midst. P.S. Please identify yourself as a potential teacher or mentor for the program! Take a step of faith and communicate with me if you feel tugged in this direction. I would love to help you discern. Warmly, Donna Petter donna@tccwayland.org
