Peacemaking: Article #7 2021
August 11, 2021
August 13, 2021
Seven A’s of a Biblical Confession.
God helps us to see our sins and leads us to resolution using the 4 “G’s”. As God opens your eyes to see how you have sinned against others, he simultaneously offers you a way to find freedom from your past wrongs. It is called confession. Many people have never experienced this freedom because they have never learned how to confess their wrongs honestly and unconditionally.
Instead, they use words like these: “I’m sorry if I hurt you.” “Let’s just forget the past.” “I suppose I could have done a better job.” “I guess it’s not all your fault.” These token statements rarely trigger genuine forgiveness and reconciliation. If you really want to make peace, ask God to help you breathe grace by humbly and thoroughly admitting your wrongs. The way to do this is to use the Seven A’s of a Biblical Confession.
1 John 1:8-9 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
- A ddress everyone involved (All those whom you affected)
- A void if, but, and maybe (Do not try to excuse your wrongs)
- A dmit specifically (Both attitudes and actions)
- A cknowledge the hurt (Express sorrow for hurting someone)
- A ccept the consequences (Such as making restitution)
- A lter your behavior (Change your attitudes and actions)
- A sk for forgiveness
- Address everyone involved. Real confession begins by admitting your sin to everyone directly impacted by it. Since every wrongdoing offends God, start your confession with him. Whether or not you admit a sin to other people depends on whether it was a ‘heart sin’ or a ‘social sin.” A heart sin takes place only in your thoughts and doesn’t directly affect others, so it only needs to be confessed to God. A social sin involves other people. Confess those wrongs to anyone affected—a single individual or a group, and people you hurt or who just witnessed your wrongdoing. The general rule? Your confession should reach as far as your offense. Suppose you were really angry with your spouse, and your kids were in the car and heard your angry outburst. You need to confess to your spouse, but you also need to talk to the kids.
- Avoid “if,” “but,” and “maybe.” It’s really difficult to find a confession that doesn’t use ‘if,” “but,” or “maybe.” It’s so hard to give an unqualified apology. The quickest way to wreck a confession is by using words that shift the blame to others or minimize or excuse your guilt. The classic bad confession is, “I’m sorry if I’ve done something to make you mad.” The word “if” ruins the confession, because it implies that you don’t know whether you did something wrong. It sounds like you just want someone off your back. Notice how the following so-called confessions are diluted by the words in italics. “Perhaps I was wrong.” “ Maybe I could have tried harder.” “ I guess I was wrong when I said those critical things about you. I shouldn’t have lost my temper, but I was tired.” Each of these statements would have value if the italicized words were left out. These words neutralize the rest of the confession. They don’t convey sincere repentance and won’t soften the heart of someone who has been offended. The word “but” is especially harmful, because it has the strange ability to cancel all the words that precede it: “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, but you really upset me.” “I should have kept my mouth closed, but she asked for it.” “I know I was wrong, but so were you!” In those statements, most people sense that the speaker believes the words following the “but” more than those that precede it. Thus, a confession containing “but” rarely leads to reconciliation.
- Admit specifically . The more detail you provide when you confess, the more likely you are to get a positive reaction. Specific admissions help convince others that you are honestly facing up to what you have done, a signal that makes it far easier to forgive you. Not only that, but being specific helps you identify the actions, words, or attitudes you need to change. For example, instead of saying, “I blew it as a friend,” you could say, “I know I hurt you when I talked behind your back.” Or instead of saying, “I know I’m not much of an employee,” you might say, “I know I’ve had a very negative attitude the last few months. I’ve been critical of others and disrupted the operation of this office. It was especially wrong of me to criticize your work in front of others yesterday.” As you strive to be specific in your confessions, make it a point to deal with your attitudes as well as actions.
- Acknowledge the hurt . If you want someone to respond positively to your confession, make it a point to acknowledge to him/her the hurt you caused. Aim to show that you understand how the other person felt as a result of our words or actions. “You must have felt really embarrassed when I said those things in front of everyone. I’m so sorry I did that to you.” If you aren’t sure how the other person felt, then ask. It can be dangerous to assume you know how or how much you hurt someone. You can say, “Have I understood how I’ve hurt you?”
- Accept the consequences . Accepting any penalty your actions deserve is another way to demonstrate genuine repentance. You might have to correct a piece of gossip you passed on. Or you might have to work extra to pay for damages you caused to someone’s property. The harder you work to make restitution and repair any harm you have caused, the easier it is for others to trust your confession.
- Alter your behavior . You don’t really mean that you are sorry if you don’t commit to not repeating the sin. Sincere repentance includes explaining to the person you offended how you plan to change in the future by God’s grace—what you will say, how you will act, or the attitude you will convey. Be specific. Find someone to hold you accountable. Explain that you are relying on God’s help. Sometimes it helps to put your plan in writing. It shows you take the matter seriously and are willing to spend time planning how to change. Listing specific goals and objectives helps you remember your commitment. It provides a standard by which your progress can be measured. And your ongoing effort will continue to demonstrate your confession was genuine.
- Ask for forgiveness If you talk through each of those steps with someone you have offended, many will be willing to forgive you and move on. If the person you have confessed to doesn’t express forgiveness, however, you can ask, “Will you please forgive me?” Your question signals that you are now awaiting their move. Don’t be surprised if some people need time to forgive you. Reconciliation doesn’t always happen right away, and pressure from you won’t help. If someone isn’t ready to forgive you, make sure you have confessed thoroughly. If you sense that the person to whom you confessed is simply not ready to forgive you, it may be helpful to say something like this: “I know I hurt you, and I can understand why it might be hard to forgive me. I want us to be okay with each other, so I hope you can forgive me. In the meantime, I will pray for you and do my best to repair the damage I caused. With the Holy Spirit’s help, I will work to overcome my problem. If there’s anything else I can do, please let me know.”
An eighth “A” could be added to this list: Allow time. When you’ve deeply disappointed, hurt or wronged someone else, they may need some time to process their emotions and come to a point of forgiveness.
Trinitarian Congregational Church Guiding Principles for the Ministry Year 2024-2025 Ministry Theme: Return and Rest Theme Song: "Another In The Fire" by Hillsong UNITED (video below) Key verse: “Thus says the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, ‘In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” Isaiah 30:15 This ministry year we embark on a journey into the depths of the Gospel according to the Book of Isaiah. Some people have called Isaiah “the fifth gospel” because of its profound impact on the gospels (“the suffering servant” of Isaiah 53) and the rest of the New Testament. Isaiah’s call to rest in the Lord in the challenges of life, whether existential, physical or emotional (or all of the above) rings so true today! In an election year and a world in turmoil, the prophet, empowered by the Spirit of Christ (1 Peter 1:11; 2 Peter 1:21) asks us: Who do you trust? Your “chariots and horses” (Isaiah-speak for our own resourcefulness), “Egypt” (=political parties, elected officials, ideologies)? To know who you trust will inevitably be tested in these troubling times but here is the promise: When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior (Isaiah 43:1-2). The goal and the prayer for TCC this year is that Isaiah’s call (“Here I am! Send me.”) will spark our own call to “dream big” (“they shall declare my glory to the nations” 66:19). World evangelization and preaching the gospel to our neighbors are impossible tasks, but we serve a God that is far greater than we can ever imagine, for whom nothing is impossible. As to the how this can be done, Isaiah is convinced that the power of God’s Word draws people in, not marketing strategies or fancy programming (is this what the American church trusts today? Isaiah would be sure to ask us!). Instead, it’s the Word alone that serves as the attractional pull and He (the Word is Jesus Himself) never returns empty (Isaiah 2:1-4; 40:8; 55:1). This year we commit ourselves to returning and resting in Him and His Word. In an age where the proclamation and application of Scripture is increasingly deemed irrelevant, if not viewed downright offensive, we instead put the Spirit and the Word at the center of everything we do. Such a commitment to the sufficiency of the Word of God will inevitably demand we cut back on certain things and add others. We are committing ourselves to resetting priorities to bring the good news to our neighbors (“for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea” 11:9). We are the hands and feet of Jesus; so these “boots [or feet] are made for walkin'…” (“How beautiful are the feet of him/her who brings good news…who declares ‘our God reigns” 55:7)! Growth Groups This year we are launching a brand-new program of discipleship and outreach. To fulfill our mission for intentional biblical witness and discipleship at TCC, we are implementing a semester-based small-group format that runs in the fall and spring (with option for groups during the summer as well). Groups focus on transformation, intentional community and outreach which create a social space where we learn God’s character and live in openness and brokenness with one another. In the fall, Growth Groups will all read and discuss the book Empowering Missional Disciples. In the spring, one of the options will be integration of Isaiah’s themes such as repentance, the fear of the Lord, how to hear God’s voice, intercessory prayer, biblical meditation will be the topics of weekly discussion. Facilitators with the support of the pastoral staff will choose topics and themes. An integral dimension of our Growth Groups is outreach: together we will participate in outreach events such as sharing our faith with others in our communities and works of service. For TCC to fulfill her destiny in this generation and for her to lay firm foundations for the next generation, we need to recover, in the words of Dietrich Bonhoeffer what “religionless Christianity” is all about (as opposed to rote church attendance as a religious ritual without any noticeable transformation in our lives); we need to recapture the vision for community and “life together;” we need to reconsider what the true “cost of discipleship” means as followers of Jesus Christ in the 21st Century. Sanctuary Renovations “I will beautify my beautiful house” (Isaiah 60:7). Our beautiful facilities at TCC are instruments for worship. Once in a while, we must tune them and make sure they function properly. Funded from bequest funds, we are thankful for this provision though we do anticipate the inevitable additional costs (included in the proposed budget for 2025 as part of our stewardship campaign). Scheduled for February of March 2025 (if everything goes well), the much-needed sanctuary renovations will include a newly reconfigured stage, lighting, sound, along with other aesthetic and structural improvements. The project timeline is two or three months during which time our worship service will take place in the Gym.
To carry out our mission “to be and make disciples of Jesus Christ,” regular (weekly/biweekly) church attendance is not enough. Ongoing small groups consisting of the same people over periods extending years can foster a strong social bond and spiritual support among trusted brothers and sisters. However, from feedback received, with life at a pace that requires changes and adaptation, Life Groups (LG) at TCC have experienced uneven attendance with the resulting lack of effectiveness to foster growth in discipleship. In addition, the open-ended commitment that LGs require (some have met for decades) can be daunting and lead to leader and participant burnout, with few options to explore other social spaces. For our newcomers, it can be difficult to find the “right group” with many competing schedules. To fulfil our mission for intentional biblical discipleship at TCC, we are implementing a semester-based discipleship program (10 weeks) utilizing a small group format (see description below) that runs in the fall and spring (with options for groups during the summer, as well). We are calling them “Growth Groups.” There is a real need and cry for new models of small groups as a way to meet new people and grow together. Growth Groups focus on transformation, intentional community and outreach which create a social space where we learn God’s character and live in openness and brokenness with one another. Topics such as repentance, the fear of the Lord, how to hear God’s voice, intercessory prayer, biblical meditation and more and are all part of the variables of the curriculum. The format of 10 weeks allows the facilitator to coordinate and lead the group, with the assistance of an apprentice, with a definite purpose and goals to accomplish within a set time period. Facilitators can opt to roll off and pass on the mantle to the apprentice or stay on for one more semester, alleviating the burnout we often see in Life Groups. An integral dimension of our Growth Groups is outreach: together we will participate in outreach events such as sharing our faith with others in our communities, works of service, and even fun days! Jesus concludes his teaching on the mountain in Matthew 5-7 with the contrasting image of the house built on sand and the house built on rock. The latter’s firm foundation is for the disciples who not only hear the Word (through teachings, preaching, biblical meditation, podcasts, devotionals, Bible reading plans, etc.) but also apply it. Someone once wisely observed that the early Church in the book of Acts was a missionary-sending, outreach-focused Body. There were no churches consisting of non-missionaries. For TCC to fulfill her destiny in this generation and for her to lay firm foundations for the next generation, we need to recover, in the words of Dietrich Bonhoeffer what “religionless Christianity” is all about (as opposed to rote church attendance as a religious ritual without any noticeable transformation in our lives); we need to recapture the vision for community and “life together”; we need to reconsider what the true “cost of discipleship” means as followers of Jesus Christ in the 21 st Century. Implementation of Growth Groups will happen in fall, 2024. Existing Life Groups that wish to remain together may continue meeting as they have been, or they may choose to alter their structure to fit the Growth Group model. The Growth Group model is based on the structure outlined in Activate: An Entirely New Approach to Small Groups. More information about Growth Groups will be coming soon. Sign-ups will take place in September and groups will begin on Monday, September 30.
Happy New Year, TCC! As we prepare for all that God has for TCC this year, we are excited for where and how God is leading us! We, the pastoral team, have been praying and seeking the Lord’s direction for this new year. It seemed good to us and to the Holy Spirit to hold fast to the directions he gave us in the fall which were (1) to continue to implement truly inter-generational worship as a united body, (2) to set out a theme of preparedness for the coming of the Lord (Matthew 24:44-47), (3) and to put attention and effort behind the TCC mission statement, “to be and make disciples.” (Matthew 28:18-20) After a strong summer coming out of Camp TCC, we were excited about the momentum and the theme of readiness. We were eager to implement the Biblical Discipleship Hour (BDH), age-appropriate, biblical education and discipleship. Kids’ hour accommodated 0-5 th grade, Youth BDH, 6 th – 12 th grade, and Adult BDH, college students to pensioners. During the 9:30 service hour, the hope was that families would be able to come to BDH and Kids’ hour to be discipled in the word of God then transition together to the 11:00 service to worship as a family. The momentum was strong at the beginning of the fall, but as time went on, we had fewer and fewer attend the Biblical Discipleship hour. As we evaluated how the fall services had gone, we recognized this loss of momentum. We felt that part of the problem was the competition between the 9:30 service and BDH. Asking families to come an hour and a half early for worship to participate in the education hour was a stretch even for the most stalwart especially with school, sports, and other weekly activities also making demands. In answer, beginning in February, we are going to implement a one-service model at 10:00 with a fellowship / coffee time from 11:00-11:30, followed by Biblical Discipleship Hour from 11:30-12:15. We hope this will facilitate a few different things. (1) A return to the summer worship schedule will reunite all of us into a single worshipping body; a better reflection of our unity in Christ (Ephesians 4:3). (2) Competition between a 9:30 service and BDH will be eliminated; it is more palatable deciding simply to stay after the service than expend the effort required to come early. (3) The worship team will have an extra half hour of prep and could also participate in BDH if they choose. (4) Pastor Tom, having to preach only once, will be free to participate, teach, and be more actively involved in the discipleship element on Sunday morning as well. The one downside is for the staff and volunteers regularly serving our kids in LTA (coinciding with worship). If things continue as they are, they would be unable to participate in the worship service. To facilitate their participation, we will need a rotation of volunteers who are willing to serve our kids one or perhaps two Sundays per month. Would you be willing to regularly serve on a rotation? We pray that this structure will better serve the vision the Lord has given us. If you have any questions or concerns, please email, call, text, or visit me on site during office hours. May God our Father bless us richly through the unity of the Holy Spirit as members of his only Son, Jesus Christ! Jeridan Dyck Pastor of Family Ministries and Outreach jeridan@tccwayland.org (406)849-0675
